Attachment Style Test
Take our free attachment style test. Find out if your style is secure, anxious, or avoidant. Based on attachment theory. 12 questions. Instant results.
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and extended by Mary Ainsworth, describes the deep emotional bond between humans and their primary caregivers — and how the patterns of that early bond shape our later relationship behaviours. The core insight is that early experiences of whether caregivers were responsive, consistent, and safe create internal working models that guide how we approach intimacy and dependency in adult relationships.
Four adult attachment styles have been reliably identified: secure (comfortable with closeness and independence, trusts partners, manages conflict constructively), anxious-preoccupied (craves closeness, fears abandonment, hypervigilant to relationship threats), dismissive-avoidant (values independence, uncomfortable with intimacy, minimises the importance of attachment), and fearful-avoidant (disorganised attachment — desires closeness but fears it, oscillates between pursuing and withdrawing).
Attachment styles are not permanent labels. Research shows they're influenced by later significant relationships — a secure, stable relationship with a partner can gradually shift attachment patterns toward security. Conversely, repeated experiences of betrayal or abandonment can push secure people toward insecurity. Understanding your attachment style is a starting point, not a fixed identity.
How attachment affects adult relationships
Anxious attachment manifests as preoccupation with the relationship, hypervigilance to partner's moods, difficulty soothing oneself, frequent reassurance-seeking, fear of abandonment, and tendency to interpret ambiguous signals negatively. In conflict, anxious-attached people tend to escalate — pursuing closeness when threatened. This is a self-protective strategy that often achieves the opposite of its goal.
Avoidant attachment manifests as discomfort with deep intimacy, emotional self-sufficiency, difficulty accessing and expressing feelings, withdrawal during conflict, and a preference for independence. In conflict, avoidant-attached people tend to deactivate — withdrawing when feeling overwhelmed. This too is self-protective and typically leads to the partner escalating pursuit, creating a pursue-withdraw cycle.
Earned security — developing a secure attachment through therapy, secure relationships, or deliberate self-work — is well-documented in research. Attachment-focused therapies (including EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy) have strong evidence for improving relationship functioning by changing the underlying patterns of engagement between partners.
About this test
This test is based on Bartholomew and Horowitz's Relationship Questionnaire and the Experiences in Close Relationships scale (ECR-R) — two of the most validated adult attachment measures in relationship research. It assesses two key dimensions: attachment anxiety (fear of abandonment) and attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness).
Your result describes your predominant attachment pattern in close relationships. Most people have a dominant style that may not perfectly fit one category — attachment exists on two continuous dimensions, and you may have elements of more than one style.
Understanding your attachment style is most useful when combined with information about your partner's attachment style — the combination explains many relationship patterns more clearly than either alone. Seeking couples therapy or individual attachment-focused therapy can be a powerful next step if relationship patterns are causing distress.
How to Interpret Your Results
| Score Range | Category | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| 0–18 | Avoidant Attachment | Your responses suggest an avoidant attachment style. You tend to value independence highly and may feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness or dependency. |
| 19–30 | Somewhat Avoidant | You lean toward avoidant patterns in relationships. You value your independence and may sometimes find close relationships emotionally challenging. |
| 31–38 | Secure Attachment | Your responses suggest a largely secure attachment style. You are comfortable with both closeness and independence in relationships. |
| 39–48 | Anxious Attachment | Your responses suggest an anxious attachment style. You crave closeness and may worry frequently about your partner's feelings and the stability of your relationships. |
Frequently Asked Questions
Can attachment style be changed?
Yes. 'Earned security' — developing secure attachment patterns through therapy or consistently secure relationships — is well-documented. It takes time and often requires working through the underlying beliefs and fears. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has strong evidence for changing attachment patterns in couples.
Is anxious or avoidant attachment better?
Neither is 'better' — both are self-protective adaptations to early experience. Both create difficulties in adult relationships and both are workable. Secure attachment is associated with the best relational outcomes, but people with anxious and avoidant styles can and do have fulfilling relationships, particularly with greater self-awareness.
Why do anxious and avoidant people often attract each other?
The anxious-avoidant pairing is extremely common. Anxious-attached people are drawn to avoidant partners because the avoidant's independence feels exciting and safe (not smothering). Avoidant-attached people are drawn to anxious partners because their expressiveness of need confirms that closeness is safe. Paradoxically, the match can amplify both styles.
How can I tell if I'm avoidant or just an introvert?
Introversion is about stimulation preferences — introverts are drained by social interaction generally. Avoidant attachment is specific to intimate relationships — specifically, a discomfort with emotional closeness and dependency. An avoidant person may be highly sociable in general but withdraw in intimate relationships specifically when emotional demands increase.
Does attachment style affect parenting?
Yes — this is one of the best-established findings in developmental psychology. Secure parenting (responsive, consistent, sensitive) tends to produce secure attachment in children. Anxious, avoidant, and disorganised parenting styles are associated with corresponding patterns in children. But awareness is protective — parents who understand their own attachment style can parent more intentionally.